I went to therapy today. It sucked. When I tried to give an excuse for why I didn't go to group on Sunday, he knew I was lying. He didn't say that; he actually said that maybe my "being sick" the whole weekend was psychosomatic. Great....
Then we talked about how I always seem to put myself into other people's drama. I have no reason to be there, half the time I may not know the person that well, but I'll get drawn into it. Like today: I've been so stressed about everyone else's drama, that when I tried to explain to my math professor that my brain just wasn't functioning normally the past few days and I didn't have all of my assignments, I almost started crying. For no reason other than stress. Leave it to me to do my best unnecessary crying in front of authority figures. But that's another story altogether.
The big thing that came out of my therapy session today was this: I need to stop letting myself get pulled emotionally into drama that I don't need to be a part of; I have enough crap to deal with in my own life. Don't believe me? Let me reiterate: I'm in therapy. Enough said.
So here is my new quote/mantra: "Sometimes, it's about me, okay? Not all the time, but every once in a while it's my time. Like today. Now, if you're not okay with that, then go." I took it from Bride Wars.
I am going to focus on me. I started cleaning today. And not just cleaning--organizing. Reorganized my desk, and some of my other drawers...part of my closet. Doing something for me feels good. That is my plan for now. Besides the usual "coping" thing; I am going to focus on me for awhile.
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