There was this extremely formal dance held by my school tonight which my friends basically made me go to. By formal I mean the dress code for this was women in fancy froo-froo ball gowns and men in tuxes. We even had dance cards.
I'd spent the whole week going back and forth in my head about whether or not I was actually going to go. Dances aren't really my thing. To be honest, any form of social situation isn't really my thing. I have declared myself socially inept multiple times. But I manage well enough, I suppose. Granted, within the first half hour I usually start thinking about how nice it would be to just leave and go back to my room, but I always stay and absorb the crazy -happy vibes coming off everyone else.
Tonight was slightly different: since we had dance cards, guys had to write down what dance they wanted with us. Not the best option for a girl who is a) socially inept, b) socially invisible, and c) emotionally stunted. Even though people kept telling me how gorgeous I looked, I only danced twice, and of those, only one was a "dance card" song. Suffice it to say that my self-esteem took a severe drop tonight. I was contemplating going to my room and ordering a pizza, which would have been bad because, knowing me, I'd eat the whole thing without realizing it.
On the bright side, I did what my therapist asked me to do. I got out of my room and was around people. If I'm around people, then I'm not sitting alone in my room. And if I'm not sitting alone in my room, then I'm not staring at sharp pointy objects. At least, I think that's a plus side.... It beats thinking about some of the more stupid and annoying people in my life who make me feel worthless, I do know that much.
So, yes, my feet hurt. From standing for two hours in 3inch heels looking awesome, but my wrists don't hurt for once. However, karma seems to think that this past week has been the perfect time to get on my case: I have cut myself four different times this week, entirely on accident. Stupid karma.
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