"No One Knows Me...But I Can Fly"

I'm not going to spend a lot of time going over what happened yesterday; I wouldn't even put it on here except that I know talking about my problems on here is why I made this blog. Therefore, my evening yesterday, the short version:

I had my Addiction Recovery group therapy meeting yesterday. I did go this time...sort of. I was at a friend's boyfriend's apartment for dinner, and then I walked over to the meeting at the church. Admittedly, the walk over was rather sketchy. Small town, dark streets...like I said sketchy.

Anyway, headed to the meeting, got to the building and...freaked out. That's not even the best way of describing what happened. I had a complete emotional breakdown, practically a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, couldn't get words out when I tried to call a friend to help me calm down. Of course, this friend also kinda guilt-tripped me about not wanting to go to the meeting because I felt uncomfortable. (I love you honey, but that was not helpful). It wasn't just that I was uncomfortable, I physically and emotionally could not make myself go in that building.

I ended up calling a different friend (the one from dinner), and she and her boyfriend came out to pick me up and take me back to my room, where I spent the next four hours trying to make myself warm again and breathe normally. Talked to my best friend from back home about everything, and I felt a bit better afterward.

And yeah, that was my night. I fended off people who wouldn't stop asking me how I was, couldn't get to sleep til two, but I'm mostly better now. Debating whether or not this therapy thing is really going to help me right now, but better.