I've always been a big lover of irony in all its forms: verbal, situational, dramatic. That could be largely because I'm also a big lover of sarcasm. It's my first language, really. So, when I'm watching one of my favorite shows, you can bet that I will find all sorts of irony in it.
Especially if said show happens to have character relationships that are the TV equivalent of my real relationships.
Currently, the show I'm watching has the greatest sense of situational irony in my life. Two best friends are about to be separated bcause they're moving away from each other, and one makes a point of saying that their relationship is not the same as it was--her friend should be taking second place to her husband in some aspects. Skip ahead to the next episode: the other friend, in a moment of extreme stress, says something to the effect of her still being there for her friend, even if her friend isn't there for her.
The actual lines that the two characters say are what makes the whole thing so terribly ironic, but I just don't feel like saying them.
Suffice it to say, I love irony, but right now it sucks.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
"Inside My Mind, Inside My Dreams"
I recently heard a quote saying that some things were cliches for a reason: they work. I find that right now, agree with that statement.
Another nail in the coffin.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Two steps forward, one step back.
It ain't over til the fat lady sings.
You get the idea.
Sometimes, the best way to say what needs to b said is t use words which have lready ben said more times than you can count or, the quote is just astoundingly famous and is known across te whole world.
Example: JK Rowling wrote that 'fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'.
There are other times, however, where there are no words for what you want to say, either because you don't know what it is you want to say or you don't want to have to say it. I fall in the second category.
Some things you just don't ever want to admit because if you do admit to them, then everything changes. And it's not always for the better.
Another nail in the coffin.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Two steps forward, one step back.
It ain't over til the fat lady sings.
You get the idea.
Sometimes, the best way to say what needs to b said is t use words which have lready ben said more times than you can count or, the quote is just astoundingly famous and is known across te whole world.
Example: JK Rowling wrote that 'fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'.
There are other times, however, where there are no words for what you want to say, either because you don't know what it is you want to say or you don't want to have to say it. I fall in the second category.
Some things you just don't ever want to admit because if you do admit to them, then everything changes. And it's not always for the better.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
"Gather Up Your Tears"
I've been home for nearly a week, and while I'm usually at home bored without access to any sort of vehicle, I haven't felt any traces of cabin fever yet. I did manage to get out and see one of my friends from high school the other night, and we spent a few hours goofing off and catching up; meaning, I spent most of the time talking about how I was doing and getting a sore throat. My friend did say something that made me stop and think when I got home, though.
I don't remember how we got onto the topic exactly, but I know we were discussing how I hated her her because she had just had sex right before coming to see me and it has been almost a year since I've had sex; this is a good thing because the guys I slept with when I was in high school were not the right guys for me and treated me like shit, but bad because I kind of miss it, even if I didn't enjoy it the few times I've had it.
Anyway, we transitioned from that to how long it had been since I last cut, which was sometime in the fall, I'm guessing October, although I really don't remember. My friend told me how proud she was of me for going that long because it's the longest I've gone since I first started cutting. That time, I cut for two months, was clean for almost two years, but then started up again and haven't made it past five months since then. She said that our group of friends should come up with some sort of token like they do in AA meetings. You go this long without doing anything, you get this random poker chip-looking-thing. You get the idea.
That wasn't the part that made me think, although it is a pretty cool idea. What made me think was that I had gone that long without cutting. I'm not saying I haven't wanted to cut. That is very obviously not true, considering it was all I could think about two or three weeks ago, and I know that I've wanted to cut before then.
But I didn't.
I didn't cut, not any of those times that I wanted to, no matter how strong the urge was to find the closest sharp and pointy object, I didn't do anything.
I'm starting to think that, at least in that area, I've begun to move past just "coping" and onto whatever comes after that.
I don't remember how we got onto the topic exactly, but I know we were discussing how I hated her her because she had just had sex right before coming to see me and it has been almost a year since I've had sex; this is a good thing because the guys I slept with when I was in high school were not the right guys for me and treated me like shit, but bad because I kind of miss it, even if I didn't enjoy it the few times I've had it.
Anyway, we transitioned from that to how long it had been since I last cut, which was sometime in the fall, I'm guessing October, although I really don't remember. My friend told me how proud she was of me for going that long because it's the longest I've gone since I first started cutting. That time, I cut for two months, was clean for almost two years, but then started up again and haven't made it past five months since then. She said that our group of friends should come up with some sort of token like they do in AA meetings. You go this long without doing anything, you get this random poker chip-looking-thing. You get the idea.
That wasn't the part that made me think, although it is a pretty cool idea. What made me think was that I had gone that long without cutting. I'm not saying I haven't wanted to cut. That is very obviously not true, considering it was all I could think about two or three weeks ago, and I know that I've wanted to cut before then.
But I didn't.
I didn't cut, not any of those times that I wanted to, no matter how strong the urge was to find the closest sharp and pointy object, I didn't do anything.
I'm starting to think that, at least in that area, I've begun to move past just "coping" and onto whatever comes after that.
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